An ongoing series of informative entries
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19th April 2020
Hope and Resilience
My brother passed away this time last year, and it was painful. Holding onto hope & tapping into resilience, whilst painstakingly persevering through the dark night of the soul (that lasted a very long many months), and making a decision to get some help (I tend to try and work things out on my own as the introvert I am), however there are times when you need guidance and healing especially during the shit storms of life! To recognise that we all need other people, support, guidance, healing, meaning, resilience, hope etc., in extreme and difficult times of our lives, no matter self-aware or "evolved" we think we are. The spirit in us, may be the very thing that fights to grow or learn through the adversity.
Brene Brown said, "At first, I hoped the patterns that I observed in my research would lead to a very straightforward conclusion — resilience is a core component of Wholeheartedness — just like the other guideposts. But there was something more to what I was hearing. The stories had more in common than just resilience; all of these stories were about spirit"
In an An interview with Dr. Daryl Van Tongeren (a best selling author and psychologist) on fostering spiritual fortitude, he described resilience as spiritual fortitude (SF). He said, "Spiritual fortitude (SF) is a confidence that someone has sufficient spiritual resources to face, and grow in the face of, a stressor. SF reflects a spiritual depth and capacity for authentic spiritual engagement in the wake of hardship. SF is likely a multifaceted construct, including not only confidence in one’s resources, but the perceived functionality and suitability of such spiritual resources as they operate in periods of considerable strain. It involves having spiritual endurance (withstanding and persevering in difficult times), spiritual enterprise (maintaining integrity during adversity), and the hope for finding a renewed sense of purpose and meaning following the adversity.
We are in a fascinating time of reflection during the COVID-19 pandemic, and life as we know it, has been put on hold or halted, has slowed down, and we now have the blessing of time! Time to heal, time to reflect, time to go within and stop running or looking outside ourselves for the answer, unable to consume the same way or distract ourselves (albeit Netflix and Foxtel are most definitely prospering!). It is a time to review, reflect, restore and reinvigorate. It is an opportunity to refocus and re image the next part of our journey, and to reset and refresh our perspectives on ourselves, our life choices, and our chosen journey. Maybe it's time to review and change direction? Life is a journey, and we can choose to recreate it.
A Quick Look at Blame
When painful or difficult things happen in life, how do you react? Do you immediately want to know whose fault it is? Blaming is the habit of making other people or things ‘wrong’ or responsible when difficult things happen to us.
According to research professor, author and speaker Brené Brown, we mostly blame when we are in pain or angry. “Here’s what we know from the research,” she says, “Blame is simply the discharging of discomfort and pain. It has an inverse relationship with accountability. Blaming is a way that we discharge anger.”
The problem with blaming is twofold. Firstly, when we’re stuck in blaming and finger pointing, we get defensive and we miss the opportunity to look honestly and gently at ourselves, see what role we played in events and how we might be able to learn and grow from it. We create wrong-doers and right-doers in our minds and may even feel justified to punish and attack others.
“All violence is the result of people tricking themselves into believing that their pain derives from other people and that consequently those people deserve to be punished.”― Marshall B. Rosenberg
Secondly we also miss out on the possibility of having an honest, open and empathetic conversation to hold people accountable for their actions and ask for change. Holding people accountable takes a lot more grit, courage and self-awareness than raging, attacking and fault-finding.
The takeaway: The moment that you place blame you undermine your resolve to create change—both within and without. In the words of Andy Stanley, “People who blame things rarely change things. Blame is an unassailable change-avoidance strategy.”
14 February 2020
We are Energy
Did you know that we are actually made up of energy and that we can create and are entitled to a life full of abundance and joy? We do, however, need to release blocked emotions and energy, negative or self sabotaging thoughts, feelings and behaviours, in order to break free from our inner imprisonment.
Physics tells us that the human body comprises matter and energy. That energy is both electrical (impulses and signals) and chemical (reactions). The same can be said about plants, which are powered by photosynthesis, a process that allows them to generate energy from sunlight. The process of energy generation is much more complex in humans, though. As we know through thermodynamics, energy cannot be created nor destroyed. It simply changes states. The total amount of energy in an isolated system does not, cannot, change. And thanks to Einstein, we also know that matter and energy are two rungs on the same ladder. The universe as a whole is closed. However, human bodies (and other ecosystems) are not closed — they’re open systems.
We exchange energy with our surroundings. We can gain energy (again, through chemical processes), and we can lose it (by expelling waste or emitting heat). In death, the collection of atoms of which you are composed (a universe within the universe) are re-purposed. Those atoms and that energy, which originated during the Big Bang, will always be around. Therefore, your “light,” that is, the essence of your energy — not to be confused with your actual consciousness — will continue to echo throughout space until the end of time.
This means that you are made up of infinite energy. Energy attracts like energy, and often this energy is required in order to ‘evolve’. Therefore, you create your reality and everything within it, mostly in order to grow. You are the co-creator of your life. Emotion is also energy or energy in motion and what we attract to us is the vibration of the same energy that we are generating! We attract people and experiences which mirror our own emotional realities. Our relationships (whether family members or people in our lives) serve a purpose, designed to help us evolve or we may help them evolve, which is mostly subconscious. What if we could actually be more conscious and access this consciousness in order to create the life we imagined and are entitled to?
“Until you make the unconscious conscious, it will direct your life and you will call it fate.”
― C.G. Jung
15 January 2020
Conversations with God: An Uncommon Dialogue
By Neale Donald Walsch
My All Time Favourite Book!
“True masters are those who've chosen to make a life rather than a living.”
“All human actions are motivated at their deepest level by two emotions--fear or love. In truth there are only two emotions--only two words in the language of the soul.... Fear wraps our bodies in clothing, love allows us to stand naked. Fear clings to and clutches all that we have, love gives all that we have away. Fear holds close, love holds dear. Fear grasps, love lets go. Fear rankles, love soothes. Fear attacks, love amends.”
“Nothing in this universe occurs by accident.”
“Life is all about mistakes, it is constant change and growth”
“People are constantly changing and growing. Do not cling to a limited disconnected, negative image of a person in the past. see that person now. your relationship is always live and changing.”
― Neale Donald Walsch, Conversations with God: An Uncommon Dialogue, Book 1